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Being Unbound

John 11:32-44 and Freedom by Langston Hughes


November 3rd, 2024

By Rev. Nicole M. Lamarche


Welcome again on this All Saints Sunday! If you are so moved, I invite you

now to take some deeper breaths, letting ourselves arrive. I offer this

prayer as we are all held by these ancient words from Psalm 19: God may

the words of my mouth and the meditations of all our hearts be acceptable

in your sight our rock and our redeemer. Amen.


La Maison du Visiteur sits just a bit up the hill on Rue St. Pierre in Vezelay,

a most perfect little village in France. I was there to see the Basilique de

Marie Madeleine, and as I was exploring after we arrived and settled in, I

discovered the Visitor Center where you can find out more information and

see a film telling the story of the Basilica including the architecture. Working

at the desk that day was Armand and we talked about a lot of things and

when no one arrived at the time the next showing was to begin, I was

offered the special treat of viewing the film in English because I was there

all by myself. Armand gestured toward a set of stairs. In English with an

adorable French accent, he told me to push. The door was really large and

I was still not used to the knobs in the middle. Did you know about that?

Then he guided me into a small theater that I had all myself.

The film shown at La Maison du Visiteur was called, The Dance of

the New Adam. It explained the history and the theology of The Grand

Tympanum, the basilica’s most prominent architectural feature. The

carvings tell the Christian story in a cosmic way, incorporating myriad

religious figures, astrological signs and scenes depicting the stories in

scripture and the work of the Spirit throughout time. In some ways I am not

sure why I was surprised, but I was. Because it was the Basilica with her

name. But in the Grand Tympanum, Peter is prominently featured. Since I

was alone, I gave a loud grunt toward the large screen in the mini theater

all to myself. As some of you might remember from this summer, in the

Gospel of Mary, the only gospel that we know of from at least partially a

woman’s voice, in the Gospel of Mary, Peter doesn’t believe Mary and she

cries. And in the canonical gospels, the ones that got included in the Bible,

Peter is recorded to be unreliable. Maybe you remember that Jesus has to

save him from drowning to death in an episode in the Gospel of Matthew. 2

In Matthew, Mark and Luke, Peter denied Jesus three times. 3 In the Gospel

of John, when Jesus is begging for support, Peter falls asleep. 4 And early in

the Gospel of Mark Jesus gets so angry that he asks Peter to stand behind

him because he is just can’t believe that Peter questioned him. Jesus even

calls him the devil basically. 5 In each of the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke

and John, Mary Magdalene is the one who is present with Jesus at the

cross and stays until the end. 6 And with the new scholarship considered,

the Gospel of John chapter 11, it confirms that she is the throughline. But at

the Basilica with her name, at least one of them, Peter is in the position of

honor in the Grand Tympanum, seated at the feet of Jesus, holding a large

key. The dramatic voice narrating the film said that the large key is: any

guesses, that’s right it’s the Key to the Kingdom of Heaven.

And you probably won’t be surprised to learn that I pondered this a lot,

sitting there in that theater and after. Why did Peter get that Key, why did

we end up getting Peter the rock? Why couldn’t it have been a team, why

did it have to be one person? For the very least, how stressful it would be

to be the only one with a most important set of keys? Why did it have to

become patriarchal when Jesus himself modeled something else? And I

found myself doing some reading on the concept of patriarchy and where it

came from, where and it started and more and because the social construct

of patriarchy began near the agricultural revolution in the shift away from

being hunters and gatherers it’s good to remind ourselves that it hasn’t

always been the status quo for human beings. We have lived in other

arrangements.


And I also found myself reading and talking to people and wondering if this

construct is not only doing a disservice to women and non-binary people

and trans people and gay men and any gender non-conforming person

maybe others, it turns out that many are making a really good case that the

construct of patriarchy isn’t serving you men either. What do you think

about that? And let me be clear as Celeste Davis puts it succinctly, “There

is nothing wrong with maleness. It should be celebrated and honored.

1 Mary 10:3

2 Matthew 14:29-31

3 Mark 14:29-31, Luke 22:54-62 and Matthew 26: 69-75

4 John 18:10-11

5 Mark 8:32-33

6 Matthew 27:55-56, Mark 15:40, Luke 23:49 and John 19:25


There is nothing wrong with masculinity and displaying masculine

attributes…There is something wrong with patriarchal masculinity. There is

something very wrong with patriarchy.”


This summer I came across a new book by Ruth Whipman called

Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity. She is a mother

of boys and in the season of #MeToo and boys men being and feeling

canceled, she writes about how patriarchy is keeping all of us a bit trapped,

whoever we are, creating a system that determines how we are to show up

and more. She says, “the feminist part of me wants to smash the patriarchy,

and the mother part of me wants to wrap the patriarchy up in its blankie.”

She said, “Where I ultimately landed was that these two things are not in

opposition. Patriarchy harms men and boys, as well as women. We’re all

trapped in this system together. It’s central to the feminist project to support

men and boys. It's not in opposition to it.”


And of course the answer is love.

In her book The Will to Change bell hooks writes, “To create loving men, we

must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding

males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity… In patriarchal

culture males are not allowed simply to be who they are and to glory in their

unique identity. Their value is always determined by what they do. In an

anti-patriarchal culture males do not have to prove their value and worth.

They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be

cherished and loved.”


Whipman’s research revealed that many boys are given the message that

they are only allowed two options, to be happy or angry. She says, “We

teach boys to code every emotion as anger. At the same time, we spend

less time listening to boys’ feelings. We spend a lot of time listening to their

opinions, and much less time listening to their feelings. So it's not really

that surprising. If you give them the options of anger and opinions, then

they're going to have angry opinions. That's the only outlet to express all

those feelings.”


It's clear to me that all of us need to be unbound and freed from this

construct that is holding all of us back.

And I wonder if Jesus even amid First Century limitations was living and

offering a way other than patriarchal culture?


So I wonder who gets the Keys to the Kingdom in this time?

There is so much I could say about this story that we heard from the

Gospel of John because you know some of us have really started diving

into chapter 11 with the new scholarship, but today I want to highlight the

freedom for everyone in this story, to feel what they needed to, not just

happiness or anger, but frustration and sadness, worry and weariness.

Mary weeps and those who came with her were weeping too and Jesus

sees it all and then he starts weeping along with them. He cries publicly,

right there in front of those who in our time a man might feel the need to

impress or to withhold anything but stoicism or perceived strength. But

Jesus weeps.


The people around him sort of mock him for not being able to do what they

think he should. But as you know by the end of the story, after Jesus and all

gathered can express what they are feeling, Jesus thanks God that he

could be heard and then the person they thought would not recover,

Lazarus as you heard comes out. All of them help take off his bandages.

He is unbound. He is freed. He gets something like a new life. The story

begins with feeling deeply and being able to show what they are feeling

because of love.


So I wonder should Mary get the keys too? Along with Peter? Allowing the

feminine and the masculine to exist alongside together in this new time?

You know I am all about that!

What if Jesus actually modeled something other than patriarchy? I mean if

you look closely at some of these stories, he is a crier, a healer, he shows

his feelings, he tells his friends that he loves them. If anyone asks

smashing the patriarchy is biblical.


How do you feel bound by the patriarchy? What else can we learn from

Jesus’ leadership? How can our church be a part of freeing our tradition

and our world from toxic patriarchy?


Beloved of God, I actually believe that we are toward the end of this

paradigm, toward the end of this toxic masculinity, I think we are near the

final stages, the last stage of domination, whether it’s soon or very soon, it’s

going to come, some of us will be alive for the beginning of the unbinding,

the time when all of us are freed. Because the keys should be in all of our

hands, are you with me? Opening up the cage of that construct and letting

us out. Let them go, let us go! As we heard from Langston Hughes, I do not

need my freedom when I’m dead. I cannot live on tomorrow’s bread.


Freedom

Is a strong seed

Planted

In a great need.

I live here, too.

I want my freedom

Just as you.

We are being, we will be, if not now, then

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